Monday, June 21, 2010

Bad Mother

I love my husband dearly, he is my best friend and most times I don't know what I would do without him. But on Saturday night, he made me feel like the worst mother in the history of mothers. I felt like Marie Antoinette (did she even have kids?) would have been more suited to mother my children than I was at that point.

It all started with this

We showed up to watch Micah play at a festival and everyone wanted to hold the baby. And by everyone I mean the ladies who follow the band. Women I have known for several years, who came to our wedding, one of whom was there for me when I had my miscarriage (because she had been through it 3 times) and came to our house the day we came home from the hospital to see our daughter.

I have no problem with letting people we know well hold Dani. And over the course of 6 hours, everyone wanted their chance. People were willing to hold her so I could eat and go to the bathroom. They genuinely wanted to love her and help me out.

And one couple, the ones who came to the house, were willing to set Jay with them so that I could actually enjoy myself a little bit. The husband, R., loves Jay and hung out with him the majority of the night. I always had my eye on them and Jay was loving it.

Micah decided on the way home to tell me that he didn't like the way Dani was passed around. And he didn't think I should have let Jason set a row behind me with R. I was furious with him for questioning me and also irritated because he has no idea how much work it is for me to be outside for hours with both kids and effectively tend to both of their needs. It was just people trying to help me out and he was upset with me.

Really, I wasn't trying to be a bad mother and I know that he wasn't trying to make me feel that way, but that is how it came out. I don't see anything wrong with 4 people other than myself having a turn holding the baby. It had been hot all day and she makes me even hotter so it was nice to have a little break. But I guess that won't be happening again.

Maybe I'm wrong. I'm not sure. But I guess we'll try it his way next time and see how it goes.


  1. did micah say why it upset him??
    i take any breaks i can with people that i know and trust around - especially if i'm right there to watch.

    hang in there mama!!!!!

  2. I guess he was afraid someone would drop her and he told me that Jay might have be having a seizure and R. wouldn't know it. I honestly think it was just the first time we had really had them both out like that and he was a nervous daddy.

  3. Marie Antoinette did have kids, and she loved them! From what I read she was a good mother.