I had completely forgotten this story, until I read This post by Brooke. Her big, scary bird made me remember my big scary raccoon.
Yes, I did make that picture super big just to scare you. And no, this isn't my actual raccoon. It was way too dark and he was way too all up in our garage for me to take a picture of him, anyway.
I came home on Valentine's night from seeing Micah's band play to see something strolling across the front lawn. I thought it was a cat. Oh no, it was the biggest raccoon I have ever seen in my life. Walking across a lawn in TOWN. I mean, I've seen some big scary possums and raccoons during my 20-some years on the farm, but I never expected to see this in our subdivision.
I flip out. I call Micah, who is on break from playing at a venue about 6 minutes from our house. I tell him he has to come home right now because there is a raccoon on the loose and Jay and I are stuck in the car. Plus, I forgot to leave the porch lights on and I can't see crap. And Micah forgot to close the garage door before he left, so this thing is hanging out in the garage just waiting to give me rabies.
He, of course, can't come home because he has to be onstage in less than 2 minutes. I finally decide to make a run for the house and grab the shot gun and fire a warning shot to scare the raccoon. Until my husband tells me you can't shoot guns inside city limits and my mom tells me you can't shoot a gun when you're 7 months pregnant. Who is making these rules??
I finally made a run for the house to unlock the door and turn on the porch lights. I then ran back out, screaming to scare the raccoon, to grab Jay from the car. All of this in the pouring rain. By the time I got in the house, even my bra was soaked. Talk about a great way to spend Valentine's Day.