I have a million thoughts right now and none of them are very focused. I'm blaming pregnancy brain. So I'll just share the random bits of info floating in this head of mine, if you don't mind.
Why is it that I have at least 10 loads of laundry every week? I used to save all the laundry up for Saturday morning, but I just can't do that anymore. There are only 3 of us and 1 of us wears uniforms to work every day. How many loads am I going to have once Bean gets here? I shudder to even think about that. I'm already doing at least one load of laundry a day and I have no idea where this stuff is coming from. Maybe it's mating in the hamper? That's my only explanation right now.
I'm still torn between formula and breastfeeding. If I do formula, I want to use the Similac Organic stuff. But I feel like I'm a bad mother if I don't breastfeed. I couldn't with Jay, because my milk never came in. It should have, it just didn't. I'm wondering if that is going to happen again? If so, I'll have no choice but to do formula. I just don't know. This is such a tough decision for me and sadly, one that I have to make on my own.
I think I found someone to take my maternity portraits. I'm sad because I always take our family pictures myself. I just use the Rebel and my remote. But I honestly don't feel like it right now. But I also know me and I know that I probably won't be happy with anyone else doing it. Plus, I'm really bummed that we can't do them on our first anniversary, which was my original plan. I may still look pregnant on May 2nd, but I won't be. :(
I told Micah last night that Bean can officially come because I bought her a package of diapers. That seems so silly and really I said it to make him laugh. Like all we need are diapers and we're good to go. But that really was the last thing I needed. So I'm feeling ready in the stuff department right now, I just need to get ready in the emotional department.
I have to admit that I'm scared to death of my c-section. I know that I had one before, so it probably seems silly to feel scared. But I was asleep for Jay's and it was an emergency. I didn't really have time to think about it before it was happening. This time, all I've done for months now is think about that dreadful surgery.
If you made it this far, you have my utmost admiration. I promise to think of more interesting things to say next week.