On the birth of Dani

Whew, it has been a crazy week and a half around here. I can't believe that 2 weeks ago I was still pregnant. It seems like Dani has been here longer than she has.

I went to the hospital last Monday 2 hours before my scheduled c-section. I was a nervous wreck on the inside. You see, about a month ago I had the realization that Dani had to come out somehow. And I knew she wasn't going to come out in the traditional way because of the interior cut I had during Jay's c-section. I started thinking that the spinal wouldn't work and I would feel them cutting me open. I started to freak out thinking that I could die during the operation and leave Micah with 2 kids. I was a mess.

Thankfully, neither of those things happened! I was nervous when the anesthesiologist started putting the needle in my back. I was freaking out when my toes started getting tingly. By the time they put the curtain up, I could still move my toes. That had me paranoid that I would be able to feel something. But I felt nothing like I was expecting, just some weird pulling and prodding sensations. The worst part was when my doctor tied my tubes and they told me that was because your nerve endings don't go numb inside.

Micah was incredible, he held my hand the whole time. He was worried about me every time I winced or made a strange face. I had eyes full of tears when the nurse brought Dani around the curtain so I could see her for the first time. And when I looked up and Micah was crying, I lost it.

Micah held her the whole time they finished my surgery so I could touch her and look at her. When she opened her eyes for the first time, he leaned her over so that I could see her eyes, too. I was a little disappointed that he got to hold her first, but when they moved me to another bed to take me to recovery, the nurse gave her to me.

It was amazing. It made me wish I had been awake when I had Jay, so that I could have seen him shortly after he was born.