On things I shouldn't say, but really want to

I am having an incredibly difficult time tonight not sending a very nasty e-mail to someone calling them a cow. I know that wouldn't be nice or mature, which is the reason I'm not sending said e-mail. Plus, Micah would kill me if I did. But I really, really want to.

You may remember me posting back in December about Micah's bass teacher and our good friend who was killed. Several months before he died, Micah gave him an old bass to replace one that had been stolen out of his car a few months earlier. It wasn't an expensive bass, I believe it was a Squier, which is a cheaper version of a Fender. It was something Micah had in his younger days, before he became addicted to boutique basses, and he kept it around because his gramma wanted to learn to play bass.

In all honesty, the thing would probably be worth $50 if you sold it to a music store. It was not expensive. It was a probably a few hundred dollars brand new and it had been hanging around the house for years. I tell you this so that you will understand why the next part of this little story makes me so angry.

A few months ago, the guys in the band and some other friends talked about organizing a benefit for Doug's parents to help them with funeral expenses. Everything was cruising along, until his ex-wife and the mother of his daughter chimed in and decided that it should be a benefit held every year to raise money for their daughter's college education. I can assure you that none of us would have a problem with this, if we didn't know that Doug's parents had to pay for his funeral, an expense they obviously weren't looking to incur at that point in their lives. Plus, Doug had a sister around our age who is disabled and still lives at home. So, it's not like these are wealthy retired people.

Fast forward to tonight. Micah asked one of the other guys in the band, Mark, who was very close to Doug, if he knew if Doug's parents still had the bass because Micah would like to play it tomorrow night at Doug's benefit. Mark says that he talked to the ex-wife when she was cleaning out Doug's stuff and told her that bass was given to Doug by Micah and that she should send it back to Micah. Which leads to Mark telling Micah that all of Doug's instruments were or will be sold to raise money for Katie.

At this point, I say what the heck. To raise money for Katie?? She's like 8 years old. What does she need money for? Besides that point, none of this stuff was worth anything as one of the other former members of the band who runs the music store told her. So basically, you could keep these instruments for your daughter to decide what SHE wants to do with them later in life or you can make a few hundred dollars by selling them now. Micah and I do not have a problem with her not keeping the bass, but we would have paid her for the stupid thing just to have it back. If Katie wanted it, we're fine with that. But I don't really think she had a say. And if the ex-wife needed the money for Katie that badly(which I don't believe she did), we would have gladly given her whatever amount of money the music store was going to pay her for the bass.

All of this to say, my husband is very upset. I am livid. And I think the reason it makes me so mad is that no matter what my financial situation might be if something ever happened to Micah, selling his basses would not be an option. I know my husband has over $50,000 in music equipment and I would never sell it. Because to me, every one of those basses is Micah. Even if he were my ex-husband I would keep those things for my children. Because I know how much Micah loves music. And I know how much Doug loved music. It's not about us having that bass back, it's about keeping the things that matter most to a person. It breaks my heart to think that she let a lifetime of Doug's memories go for a few hundred dollars, if she did in fact sell these things.